My name is Lady. I am writing to you from some place which has strange trees that look like bad hairdos on top of big sticks. I used to live in some place where the trees looked like trees until I was thrown into this rolling thing for a very long time and finally ended up here. Anyhow, I digress.
My people did something horrible to me today. They dumped me at a place that smelled just like the doggy pound. I know that I stole all those treats off the counter a night or two ago, but I can't help it. I was just designed to be bad sometimes, being a puppy and all you know. Anyhow, I digress.
My people left me at the place that smelled like the doggy pound forever and ever. I think they finally came to get me, but I was so traumatized, I don't remember if they picked me up one minute before the end of eternity or two minutes before. By the time they rolled into our driveway between the strange trees, I didn't even recognize my former home. I collapsed in bed with not a single emotion left:
I hope that you can talk some sense into my people. They call the place that smells like the doggy pound "Doggie Daycare" but I know better. When they look at me, they also keep using words I don't understand... like "Drama Queen" or something like that.
I am confused. I am mostly a good girl. Can you help me? May I please have people for Christmas who never leave me (like -- never, ever) and give me 27.6 pounds of dog treats every day to go with my 43.4 cups of dog food?
Thank you Santa. I know you are a nice guy and can hear my pain and consider my plea.
Sincerely,
Lady Wilson, The Abandoned
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