Torture by Pizza

I have spent several weeks collecting data.   Now, I am certain.  It is not just my imagination.  It is true.... The number of pizza commercials on TV has skyrocketed during April 2020.   

It might be my pizza-starved imagination that sees the cheese as creamier, the toppings as more plentiful, the veggies as more vibrant, the dough as tantalizingly fresh and fluffy.   Even the pepperoni and hamburger are starting to look appetizing.  And to add to my COVID-19 lockdown-induced delusions, pizza is now starting to look like, on top of all its other appealing attributes.... healthy.  

As I stare mesmerized at the television and as the multitude of toppings float languidly down the screen onto the waiting abundance of cheese below, the mere 30 second commercial seems to transform into a minutes-long event.   Toppings of every shape, size, color, and caloric content appear, appealing to every last taste bud.  Fresh, hot pizzas are attached to smiling faces offering to deliver pizza in a flash... contact-free and safe from COVID exposure.     

Jolting myself out of my semi-hypnotic state, tearing my gaze away from the screen with all of my willpower, I gaze sadly at some point in the distance that is nowhere near the TV screen.   With each passing day, I have come to realize the gruesome reality of this stay-at-home situation.

It is Torture by Pizza. 

While Dominos, Papa Johns, and cousin companies reach out to America to provide pizza-induced solace in this public health emergency to those who have a phone and credit card in hand, their well-intentioned, profit-driven marketing has forgotten one thing:   their delivery area is limited.

While generally content and extraordinarily grateful to be living in the woods on an island while under stay-at-home orders from our governor, I have come to realize that someone should had the sense to block these commercials from our island.    A pizza block on all satellite, cable, and other TV transmissions onto the island would have been most helpful to preserving my mental health.

Indeed. 

Back to staring at all that cheese....

NOTE:
Frozen Pizza does not count.