Murder on Frogwater Road

At approximately 17:30 hours on Saturday, April 2, the main suspect was seen dragging the victim against his will into the primary structure on 4141 Frogwater Road.  Shortly thereafter, the victim was reportedly locked inside a windowless room inside the structure, alone except for two pieces of ancient heating apparatus and a more modern, ominous-looking freezing device.  

At approximately 19:30 hours, two other suspects joined the primary suspect in a vigil outside the victim's hapless prison.  Eyewitnesses to the vigil stated that joy and anticipation gleamed aplenty in the eyes of at least two of the suspects.   The third suspect, a handicapped individual, seemed to be unaware of the carefully laid plans of the first two suspects.

Overnight, the victim apparently suffered, in total darkness, and at one point attempted an escape by chewing through wires associated with one of the ancient heating devices.   After a shocking rebuke for this behavior, the victim lay quietly for several hours, pondering his dilemma with increasing dread.

At 05:00 hours on Sunday, April 3, the victim tweeted one last dire warning to his friends and family:  "Please, I beg you... Stuff your cheeks elsewhere."

At this point, in an act of sheer desperation, the trapped victim appeared to claw his way out of the locked, windowless prison in a final attempt to escape.   After making a rather clever and unlikely escape, the victim, Chip W. Bey, came face to face, not with freedom but with his very tormentors. The three low-life predators appeared to have laid in wait for him and, upon observing his escape, subsequently commenced a rather gruesome end to Chip's life.

Time of death was estimated at approximately 07:30 hours on Sunday, April 2.  All three suspects in the crime are now held under house arrest, awaiting a-rain-ment, which was scheduled for Monday, according to the latest forecast.

Eyewitnesses reported the primary suspect demonstrated no remorse at the crime, believing herself too beautiful to be guilty of any crime ever:

The second suspect was seen relocating the body to an outdoor location before its discovery by the owners of the property.  She also expressed no apparent remorse and appeared to be eyeing another victim within minutes of this gruesome crime:

The third suspect appeared to simply be going along with the other two masterminds of these events.   Handicapped by a non-functioning fourth leg, she was not considered a threat to society and was thereafter released on her own re-cat-nizance.   

The owners of the property in question wished to make no comment on this brutal crime.  Instead, they spent their Sunday attempting to console the long time partner of the victim -- Dale W. Bey. 

Mrs. Bey,  apparently unable to comprehend the seriousness and finality of the situation with regard to Chip W. Bey, ran around the property the whole day stuffing her cheeks with glee.