A Parable of the Home Builder

Some sources say that the word "parable" should only be applied to the stories that Jesus Christ told in the new testament in order to point out a moral or spiritual lesson.  I hereby disclaim that I am only using this particular word because it sounds a great deal better than "allegory" or "analogy".  Maybe I am just not in the mood for "a" words.  I am certainly not up to the eloquence or wisdom of Jesus Christ.

Here we go:
A man once endeavored to build a house.  Or was that a woman? Either way... the house was to be built.   So, he found many helpers to (yes, that's right) help him.  He found helpers who could pour foundation, helpers who could lay flooring, helpers who could paint, and so on and so forth.  At the end of the first week, the man was delighted at all his helpers and their expertise.

So, during the second week, the man began to build the house.   He prepared the ground for the foundation and looked to his helper who had experience laying foundation.   Alas, the helper had to wash her hair during the second week, so she could not assist with the laying of the foundation.  So, the man picked up his DIY manual and spent the second week reading about how to lay a foundation, and watching YouTube videos to confirm what he read.

During the third week, the man began to apply his newfound knowledge and lay the foundation for the house.  In the middle of the messiest part, when the man had somehow managed to land knee deep in fresh concrete, the foundation laying helper appeared with shiny, clean hair.  She observed the process before her and began a critique of the man's foundation.  She pointed out many flaws and stood apart from the foundation, waiting for the man to fix them.  And so, the man fixed them, one by one, until the foundation lay, almost perfect, in the middle of the chosen plot of land.  And so ended the third week of building the house.

During the fourth week, the man began the framing for the house.  This was his area of expertise, so he required no help, no DIY manuals, and mercifully, no further input from YouTube.  At the end of the fourth week, his helpers came and assessed the structure, its integrity, and so on.   The man listened and applied the knowledge he thought relevant and nodded his head at the rest.

During the fifth week, the man began the plumbing, the electrical, and the HVAC. Again, he called on his helpers with the right expertise for the job.   His helpers were busy.   They were important people.  They could not help.   The man retreated to the land of DIY manuals and YouTube, studying carefully each step in this phase of building the house.   This process took several weeks, almost months, because his helpers remained busy elsewhere.  Magically, when the plumbing was complete, the plumbing helper stopped by to offer a detailed critique of his work and wrote up many pages of corrections to bring the plumbing up to his standards.  The electrical and the HVAC helper did the same.

The story continued and bit by fitful bit, the house rose from what before, was merely a patch of dusty, hapless land.    After months of tireless effort, the man finally screwed the last piece of drywall in place, applied the finishing touches on the paint, and declared the home building process complete.

He stepped back to admire his work, but was so tired from all that he had done that he could bear to be on his feet only a few seconds before collapsing, less than fortuitously, onto one of the many agave plants his landscaping helper had critiqued into position just a few days earlier.

While attempting to extract himself from the myriad of spines and thorns on the agave, he noticed a great crowd had gathered on the lawn.  Upon further inspection, he noticed that the crowd consisted of two groups of people:  (a) his many "helpers" and (b) a crowd of onlookers who had gathered around the helpers to congratulate the helpers on a job hard won and well done.

Invisible and exhausted, the man retired inside his house, lay down on the floor, and slept for a half an eon.

When finally, the man awoke from his deep slumber, he immediately noticed the eyes of his many "helpers" staring down upon him, expectantly, waiting.   When the helpers were sure that the man was awake, conscious and responsive, they uttered only these words:

"Let's build another one."

Such is the far too common story of authorship on scientific publications.